It’s just so hard to say goodbye. It’s heart breaking to know I won’t see your smiling, angelic face when I wake up in the morning. It’s so frustrating that in your last hour of need I wasn’t there to say what I truly felt about you. I wish I could have…No! I should have been there as you took your last breath of air, your lungs wanting to take in more, although you knew in the back of your mind it was impossible. Right about know I’m wondering if you’re watching down from heaven. I look up to the sky with tears streaming down my face. I know you can see me, I just know it. As I walk to the bedroom we both used to share, I grab the cold, metal pistol that’s been sitting at the bottom of my dresser. I slowly touch it, it’s icy to the touch and it quickly spreads goose bumps throughout my body. I look up only to see myself in the full length mirror, my eyes are red and puffy from my constant crying. I feel numb. Now the pain I felt for your death no longer makes my heart ache. I look at the gun again and then back to my face. I search for any indication of some kind of emotion in the reflection of my eyes, but there’s nothing there yet tears are still spilling out of them. I’m no longer myself; the person I see in the mirror is just a hollow shell. The hand that is still holding on to the pistol raises, by instinct my mouth opens as the barrel of the gun is placed inside. I can taste a metallic tang as I once again look at the mirror. The tears have stopped, and my finger moves closer to the trigger. It may have been hard to say goodbye but it will feel a lot better to say hello again.