It’s just so hard to say goodbye. It’s heart breaking to know I won’t see your smiling, angelic face when I wake up in the morning. It’s so frustrating that in your last hour of need I wasn’t there to say what I truly felt about you. I wish I could have….No! I should have been there as you took your last breath of air, your lungs wanting to take in more, although I am sure you knew in the back of your mind it was impossible. Right about know I’m wondering if you’re watching down from heaven. I look up to the sky with tears streaming down my face. I know you can see me, I just know it. I stand at the front door of our apartment and I only hear the noises from the street. Usually I can hear your sweet song as you prepare our dinner. But as I walk into our…my humble abode it strikes me as strange. The living room is no longer filled with life and the once brightly colored walls now dull in comparison. I slowly walk towards our…my bedroom. It’s a complete mess without you here. I plop myself down on the bed with my face in the pillow. I slightly turn my head and face your side of the bed. Surprisingly it’s the only thing in the room that isn’t covered with my stuff. In fact it’s the exact same way you left it. The dent in your pillow still holds the shape of your head. My hand hovers over it as if I’m touching you. My eyes once again become filled with the tears that fall and soak my pillow. I close my eyes until the tears almost gone. When I open my eyes, I see you right next to me sleeping. The slight rise and fall of your chest as you sleep soundlessly. Your face looks peaceful while my eyes wander down to your slightly parted lips. I remember the sound of my name escaping those lips. I want to lean over and gently caress your lips with mine, but my body can not move. My mind knows you are gone, but my heart does not believe this. It seems like an eternity has passed while I continue to watch you. I just want to lay here with you beside me forever in this comfortable silence. I become drowsy as my eyelids became heavy. I have to stay awake. I do not want to lose this time with you. As the early dawn awakens me, I realize you are gone. You are not coming back to me. I am alone.